Friday 18 July 2014

637. Develop Self Confidence

You want to be confident and feel confident, but what if you're starting with little or no confidence? How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a human being who is worthy of respect and love. If you want to know how to start building your self-confidence today, see Step 1 to get started.

Part 1 of 3: Changing Your Perspective
1   Identify your talents. 
Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, and then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, or dance. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends.[1]
·         If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain loveto do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take somelessons or join an enthusiasts club.
·         When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence.
2   Take pride in your good qualities. 
Not only should you feel proud of your talents or your skills, but you should also think about the things that make your personality great. It can be your sense of humor, your sense of compassion, your listening skills, or your ability to cope under stress. You may not think that there's anything about your personality worth admiring, but if you dig deep, you'll realize that you have plenty of admirable qualities. Revel in them and write them down. You'll be on your way to building your self-confidence.
Whenever you feel bad about one of your weaknesses, comfort yourself by thinking about all of the positive qualities about yourself. You'll see that they far outweigh the things you are insecure about.
3   Recognize your insecurities. 
What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you uncomfortable or ashamed of yourself? This could be anything fromacne, to regrets, friends at school or a past traumatic or negative experience. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.
·         This exercise isn't meant to bring you down or to make you realize that there was even more wrong with you than you thought. It's meant to make you aware of the problems you're dealing with, and will put you on the path to solving them.
4   Talk about it with friends and loved ones. 
Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on. Check if it's an old past emotion and if it is really still relevant or applicable in your life today. Just having someone to talk to about your problems can make you feel more confident, even if that person can't help you find a solution.[2]
·         This doesn't mean you have to get rid of whatever makes you feel bad (many times, you simply can't). You need to learn to accept yourself, your past, your circumstances as they are, without necessarily thinking of them as "bad".
·         Just having a friend offer you encouragement can help you feel capable of tackling your insecurities. It'll be much harder to build up your self-confidence if you have to be your own cheerleader all the time.
5   Bounce back from your mistakes. 
Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. And that often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, the mood we're in, or how we are feeling. In other words, they are not constant. If you've made a mistake, the best thing you can do is to recognize it, apologize, and make a game plan for avoiding it in the future.
·         Don't let one wrong turn make you think you don't have what it takes to achieve your dreams.
Maybe you weren't a great boyfriend and your last relationship ended in failure. This doesn't mean you're not capable of turning your act around and finding love in the future.
Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior — they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
·         The next time you catch yourself having a negative thought, counter it with at least two positive ones. Make a habit of this until you feel the negative thoughts creeping out of your system.
·         When you talk to your friends, focus on making many more positive comments than negative ones. You don't want to develop a reputation for being a whiner, and you also will feel more positive if you talk about more positive things.
7   Stop comparing yourself to others. 
                        If you want to build your self-confidence, then you have to focus on improving your own life for the better, not on making your life more like your best friend's, your older brother's, or like those of the celebrities you see on television. If you want to build up your confidence, then you need to know that there will always be someone who is prettier, smarter, and richer than you, just like there will always be someone who is less attractive, less intelligent, and less wealthy than you are; all of this is irrelevant, and what is relevant is caring about advancing your own goals and dreams.
·         You may lack confidence because you're convinced that everyone else has it better than you do. Forget about them! At the end of the day, it only matters if you're happy by your own standards. If you have no idea what those are, then it's time to do some soul searching before you move forward.

Part 2 of 3: Taking Action
Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well). Let the person giving the compliment know that you really appreciate it, and work to reach the point where you are able to truly accept the compliment at heart.
·         You can even write the compliment down and read it over. Let it show you that you aren't as hopeless as you may think.
2   Look in the mirror and smile.
 Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run. This will also help you feel happier about your appearance, and to accept the way you look.[3]
·         There's never any harm in smiling (under the right circumstances). Smile at strangers throughout your day and see how good it makes both you and them feel.
3   Fake it. 
Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel! Pretend that you're the most confident person in your school; was that so hard? Is there anything from the experience that can inform the way you live your own life? You'd be surprised by how much stepping outside of your own mindset can help you build confidence.
Body language can go a long way in helping you develop your confidence. Stand tall and proud instead of hunching over, look straight ahead of you instead of at the ground, and don't cross your arms over your chest. Keep your body active and engaged, and you'll start to feel more confident as you go about your day and approach others.
4    Help others. 
When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world — which will boost your self confidence. Find a way to make helping others a part of your weekly routine, whether you volunteer at your local library or you help your little sister learn to read. The act of helping will not only benefit others, but it will build your confidence because you'll see that you have a lot to offer.
·         You don't have to help someone in your community to feel the benefits of helping others. Sometimes, someone close to you, such as your mother or your best friend, will need your help as much as anyone.
It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability. Be true to yourself instead of doing what other people expect, and know that, at the end of the day, you have to be able to live with yourself to feel confident.
·         Sure, you may feel a small burst of confidence from showing off just to please others or by making fun of someone less fortunate than you, but these are not long-term solutions for true confidence.
6   Get rid of as many sources of negativity as you can.
 Though we can't get rid of every possible source of negativity in our lives, we can certainly make an effort to cut down on the negativity that plagues us. Take the time to sit down and think about all of the things that are bringing you down, from mean friends, a career you don't much care for, or a living situation that is almost unbearable. Though you may not be able to get rid of every negative source in your life, you can certainly think about how to cut your losses. This will go a long way in building your self-confidence up.[5]
·         If you have toxic friends who have been making you feel bad for years, it's time to cut them loose.
·         If you think you lack confidence because of a large part of your life, such as a career path that you don't really feel cut out for, then start making a plan to change the course of your path. You may not be able to do this instantly, but starting a plan in the right direction can make a big impact on your self-confidence.
·         If there are certain parts of your life that you can't really change, such as living with parents who are always nagging you, then you need to find the best way to cope with them. You can't let these things affect your confidence or your sense of self.
7   Make eye contact. 
Making eye contact when you talk to people can go a long way in building your self-confidence. Doing so will make you feel like you are a valuable person who is worth talking to, and people will respond in kind. If you look at the ground or away when you talk to people, then you won't feel as confident in what you are saying, and other people won't think that you're strong in your convictions. The next time you talk to someone, make sure you look that person in the eye as you articulate whatever you wanted to say.
·         You can break eye contact occasionally so a situation doesn't feel too tense or uncomfortable. Just don't make a habit of it.
8   Put care into your appearance. 
You don't have to look like Brad Pitt to start building your self confidence. If you want to feel better about who you are and how you look, then take care of yourself by showering daily, brushing your teeth, wearing well-fitting clothes, and making sure that you've taken time with your appearance. This doesn't mean that superficial looks or style will make you feel more confident, but making an effort to mind your looks tells yourself that you're worth caring about.
·         Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day or several times a week. You'll get those endorphins pumping and will feel better in both mind and body. Getting a perfect body won't make you feel better about yourself, but taking the time for regular exercise for the sake of exercise will.
·         Make sure to get around 7-9 hours of sleep every night and go to bed and wake up around the same time. You will look and feel more fresh if you take the time to do this.
Part 3 of 3: Continuing to Build Your Confidence
 Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals. If you feel like everything has to be done perfectly, then you'll never be truly happy with yourself or your circumstances. Instead, work on learning to be proud of a job well done instead of wanting everything to be absolutely perfect. If you're in the mindset of a perfectionist, then you'll only be getting in the way of a more confident version of yourself.
·         There's a difference between doing a sloppy job and agonizing over something until it is past flawless. Find a way to be happy with what you've done without obsessing over it.
A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, or money. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence. Take some time to sit and think about all of the things you have going for you, from your wonderful friends to your health.
·         Sit down and make a gratitude list, writing down all of the things you are thankful for. Read it over and add to it at least once a week, and it will put you in a more positive, empowering frame of mind.
3   Address the flaws you can address. 
Of course, there will be some things that you don't like about yourself that you simply cannot change. However, there should be several things that you can address with a bit of dedication and hard work. Whether you want to work on being more social or being better in school, you can make a plan to succeed and begin to carry it out. While you may not end up being the most social kid in school or your class valedictorian, you can go a long way in building your self-confidence just by making a plan to start changing for the better.
·         Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't try to change absolutely everything. Start with just one or two aspects of yourself that you would like to change, and take it from there.
·         Keeping a journal where you chart your progress in achieving your goals can make a big difference. This will help you think about how well your plan is working, and it can help you feel pride in the steps you have taken.
4   Get good at something. 
Another way to build your self-confidence is simply to find something you're good at and to keep improving at it. This could be mastering a foreign language, playing badminton, or painting with watercolors. Whatever it is, make a habit of spending at least a few hours a week working on getting better, and be proud of the progress you're making. You don't have to turn into an Olympic athlete, but if you work on being the best that you can be, you will feel your confidence soar.
·         A lot of people have low self-confidence because they feel like they don't stand out or don't have anything they are good at. Finding something to master is your chance to change this feeling.
·         If you want to take it to the next level, you can even help someone else master whatever it is that you're good at. Whether you're helping a person learn a new yoga pose or understand the basics of writing a short story, you'll feel good about yourself when you're teaching someone because you'll see that you're needed.
5   Embrace the unknown. 
People who lack self-confidence worry that they'll never succeed in an unpredictable situation. Well, it's time to stop doubting yourself and to try something completely new, unknown, and different. Whether you're traveling to a new country with friends or letting your cousin set you up on a date, making a habit of embracing the unknown can help you become more comfortable in your own skin and to feel like you're in control of your destiny — or, rather, that you're okay with not being in control. If you find that you're able to succeed even in a situation you didn't anticipate, then your confidence will go through the roof.
·         Spend more time with people who are adventurous and spontaneous. You'll soon find yourself doing something unexpected and feeling better about yourself because of it.
6   Spend time with people who make you feel great. 
Another key part of building your confidence is being around people who also help boost you up instead of putting you down. Surround yourself with people who compliment you, encourage you, support you, and generally make you feel like an awesome person. Being around these people will help you see that you have so much to offer to the world. Making a goal of spending time with positive, encouraging people will take you far on your quest to building self-confidence.
·         Take some time to think about which people in your life really make you feel great. You may see that someone you know makes you feel awesome even though you don't spend a ton of time together. Make a goal to see that person even more, if you can, and your confidence will increase.
Another way to build your self-confidence is to learn to live in the present. Don't spend your time dwelling on something stupid you said a week ago or wondering if you offended that one guy at that one party. Don't spend it worrying about what will happen at the next party or about what you're going to wear a month from now. Instead, work on enjoying the moment you're in, the company you keep, and the beautiful things in front of you. Though having a game plan for life won't hurt in moderation, life is a precious thing and you want to be able to enjoy it to the fullest by embracing the world around you.[6]
·         Yoga and meditation can help you live in the present moment and to get more in touch with your mind and body.
·         Whenever you catch yourself getting hung up on the past or the future, just pinch yourself and say you'll write about it in your journal for later. Don't let this kind of mindset take over your life, or you won't have enough positive energy and awareness to build your self-confidence.
Video

Tips
·         Condition yourself to talk positively about yourself. Every time your mind wanders and say you are not apt at it, pause for a minute, undo those negative vibes and say you can do it. At least you should make an attempt to accomplish that daunting task. With that, you will learn more about yourself.
·         When you are feeling terribly insecure, write down your positive traits and read them back. This feedback would give you surprising results.
·         Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.
·         Exercise and eat healthily. Exercise raises endorphins and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.
·         Do not be afraid to push yourself beyond your physical or mental limits. Such a pressure would help you see how easily things can be achieved and thereby helps you hone skills. Step out of your comfort zone.
·         You can provide yourself with an extra dose of confidence by using the Best Me Technique of self-hypnosis to pre-experience the rewards of a long-term goal, thereby reducing the stress.
Warnings
·         Don't be overly kind to everyone, usually you will end up being taken advantage of.
·         Do not mistake being loud for confidence. Some loud people cover their insecurities. If you are happy with yourself, you are confident.

·         Do not get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points. They could turn out to be a healthy contrast to your good points or even give you something to improve. There is no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.

Thursday 17 July 2014

636. NEW ADDRESSES


see  my    site                                      Trushna.in

see  my  first  e-mail address                   jaihindjamalapuri@gmail.com

see  my  second  e-mail address           hanumantharao@trushna.in


635. OVER COMING FEAR MBA I - II


OVER   COMING   FEAR

Edited by Karen W., Ben Rubenstein, Jack Herrick, Flickety and 65 others
Even the most courageous people have fears to overcome. Are you afraid of something tangible, like spiders or heights? Maybe you fear failure, change or something else that's more difficult to pin down. No matter what it is that scares you, learn how to acknowledge, confront and take ownership of your fear to keep it from holding you back in life.

Steps
Method 1 of 4: Analyze Your Fear
1   Start by acknowledging it. It's easy to ignore or deny our fears, even to ourselves, in a society that stresses the importance of being strong and brave. But courage can't come into play unless you have a fear to face down. By owning your feelings you've taken the first step toward gaining control over the situation.
·         Name your fear. Sometimes fear makes itself known immediately, clearly, and other times its more difficult to name the cause of those anxious feelings lurking in the back of your mind. Let your fear rise to the surface and give it a name.
·         Write it down. Writing down your fear is a way to officially admit that you have a problem you want to overcome. Keeping a journal is a good way to track your progress as you work toward conquering your fear. It can serve as a guide for the next time you've got a problem that needs to be solved. You can overcome fear by facing it every time it comes your way, and, once you decide to make up your mind, your fears will dissolve away.
2   Define its contours. Approaching your fear as something with a beginning and an end can help you see that you have the power to contain it. If you can clearly see the shape of your fear, you'll be able to recognize when its affecting you and handle it more effectively. Answer the following questions to better understand your fear.
·         What is the history of your fear? Did it begin with a negative experience? Is it related to factors that affected your childhood environment? For how long have you been affected by this fear?
·         What triggers your fear? Is it something obvious, like the sight of a snake on a trail? Maybe passing your career counselor's office door sends your mind into a downward spiral when you walk down the corridor in your high school. Figure out everything that triggers your fear so you can determine how far it stretches.
·         How does your fear affect you? Does it cause you to stay in bed instead of getting up and going to a class you're afraid of failing? Do you avoid visiting your family in another state because you don't want to get on a plane? Figure out exactly what power your fear has over your mind and behavior.
·         Is the source of your fear actually dangerous? Fear can be a healthy emotion that protects us from harm by causing us to avoid things that are dangerous. Determine whether you have a good reason to be afraid or if your fear is misplaced and inhibiting. For example, when you are afraid to ride that totally extreme roller coaster in the theme park even though all your friends are doing it, your fear may be inhibiting you. If you are healthy and in the correct age range, you can freely ride a coaster without worrying about getting hurt.
3   Imagine the outcome you desire. Now that you completely understand your fear, think about what exactly you want to change. You already have your big goal set - you want to overcome your fear - but it's important to set smaller concrete goals to help you get there. For example:
·         If your fear is commitment, your first concrete goal may be to date someone for longer than a month.
·         If your fear is heights, you may want to be able to go on a hiking trip with the outdoor club at your school.
·         If your fear is going away to college, you could start by setting a goal to apply to three schools.
·         If your fear is spiders, you might want to be able to handle seeing a spider in your bathroom next time that situation arises.

Method 2 of 4: Take Control of Your Fear
1   Let yourself be afraid sometimes. There's no way to completely eliminate fear from your life. It's as valid an emotion as joy or sadness. Fear builds character and teaches us how to act with courage.
·         Don't be hard on yourself if you have a lot of fears. Fear is a natural response to situations that are out of our control, and feeling it just means you're human.
·         Don't push yourself too far. If you are extremely afraid of something that you can avoid frequently encountering, like tarantulas, you may not need to force yourself to overcome that fear. It's important to work on overcome fears that limit your life, but don't stress yourself out about those that have no real effect on you.
2   Celebrate your victories. Don't wait until your fear has been completely overcome to give yourself a pat on the back for your effort. Celebrate each milestone, whether you told a story to a group of people at a party, saw a spider and realized you didn't want to run away, or took a trip to a different city by yourself for the first time. When you see how good it feels to gain an edge on your fear, you'll be ready to face the next one head-on.
·         Consider seeing a counselor if your fears seem to be taking over. A trained specialist can help you figure out the source of your fears and create new ways of coping.
Warnings
·         Never do anything too dangerous, like touching a venomous rattlesnake without proper training. Be sure to exercise safety as you confront your fears.


  1. 1  Learn how to enroll and engage your audience. If you haven't yet taken a professional development course on public speaking, consider finding a public speaking training course appropriate for your needs. Learning the art of public speaking can enhance your results in a boardroom, in a sales presentation, and even accelerate your climb up the corporate ladder. It is a must-skill for any executive and/or business owner.
2.     
2   Recognize that people can't see your nervousness. When you're walking out onto the stage toward the podium, no one knows you're nervous. Your stomach could be in knots and you feel like you're going to be sick, but you really aren't showing nervous behavior. Sometimes, with public speaking, you think that people may notice you're nervous. This makes you even more nervous. There are only a few subtle cues that show a person is nervous and they're so small, that the ordinary person wouldn't put more than 1 second into them. Don't worry so much. People don't see that extreme nervous beast inside you.
·         Bluff. Stand tall, with shoulders back and chest out. Smile. Even though you don’t feel happy or confident, do it anyway. You will look confident and your body will fool your brain into thinking it is confident.
  3   Do not overthink the audience's reactions. When you are on stage or speaking in public, calm your mind. Remember that even if you see people looking at you like they think you are weird, ignore it. What they think doesn't matter. If there really is something that you know you are doing wrong, fix it as quick as possible.
·         Yawning, bored expressions and similar negative facial expressions will always appear in an audience. Chances are some of those people will be bored whatever the occasion; some of those people are difficult to please; some of those people are tired; some of those people are distracted. None of these reasons reflect on you.

Tips

·         Remember, you don't look as nervous as you feel.
·         If you think the people you're talking to will judge you too much, think that they're not themselves. Think that they're your siblings or friends. People who respect you and won't judge you if you make a mistake.
·         Remember, even the top professionals learn something new every single time they go out!
·         Only you know what you are supposed to say or do so it's okay to change things during the presentation. (It's okay not to be word-for-word as your wrote it.)
·         Remember that when you are asked to speak, if you are coming from a place of service, you can't go wrong. Remember, it's not about you. It's about them - your audience. You are not the star, they are.
·         Tell yourself, "One is admired when looked upon by others."
·         If you go to school, volunteer to read the text when the class is reading textbooks.
·         Try low lighting. Prepare a PowerPoint presentation. Display it on the projector, and turn off the lights in the room. By doing this, you will have an enormous advantage because nobody will be looking at you and the projector will draw all of the attention from you. This will give you a sense of relief like you wouldn't believe, making your presentation completely stress free. This method does not cure the fear of public speaking but it does help you avoid the anxiety throughout the speech.
·         Smile and try to make some jokes to cover your nervousness. The audience will laugh (but in a good way, of course!) and think that you're really funny. Don't try to be humorous in serious situations such a funeral or an important meeting though, or you might get into big trouble!

Warnings

·         Don't give a wrong or uninformed answer. Defer to a later time and ask "is it okay if I get back to you on that on the break. I want to make sure I cover the subject well, and get you the right answer".
·         If you don't know the answer to a question, ask the audience if anyone knows the answer to the question (you don't have to admit you don't know it...you just ask the audience).
·         Avoid death by PowerPoint; overuse of slides during a talk will put your audience to sleep.
·         Avoid standing behind podiums, tables or any physical barrier between you and your audience.
·         Don't take anything personally.

Some more hints

1. Take time out

2. What's the worst that can happen?

3. Expose yourself to the fear

4. Welcome the worst

5. Get real

6. Don't expect perfection

7. Visualise

8. Talk about it

9. Go back to basics

10. Reward yourself

What Do You Think?

* End the speech as soon as possible
* Avoid any pauses or interruptions during the speech
* Avoid contact with the audience
* Hide the fact that they are afraid

Don't Be the Unspeaker!

Hurrying

Ignoring the Audience

Fighting to Hide Your Fear

 

Fear of Public Speaking:
Fear of public speaking is the most common of all phobias. It's a form of performance anxiety in which a person becomes very concerned that he or she will look visibly anxious, maybe even have a panic attack while speaking.
Over time, people try to protect themselves by either avoiding public speaking or by struggling against speech anxiety.
In this way, people get Tricked into making the fear of public speaking more chronic and disruptive.
Some people do this with avoidance. They choose college coursework in such a way as to avoid public speaking, rather than taking the classes they want.

How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking

Five Parts:


647. PRESENTATION SKILLS MBA I - II

PRESENTATION  SKILLS MBA   I - II There are many types of presentations.                    1.       written,        story, manual...