Edited by Karen W., Ben Rubenstein, Jack Herrick, Flickety and
65 others
Four
Methods:
Even the most courageous people have fears to overcome. Are you
afraid of something tangible, like spiders or heights? Maybe you fear failure,
change or something else that's more difficult to pin down. No matter what it
is that scares you, learn how to acknowledge, confront and take ownership of
your fear to keep it from holding you back in life.
1 Start by acknowledging it. It's
easy to ignore or deny our fears, even to ourselves, in a society that stresses
the importance of being strong and brave. But courage can't come into play
unless you have a fear to face down. By owning your feelings you've taken the
first step toward gaining control over the situation.
·
Name your fear. Sometimes fear makes itself known immediately,
clearly, and other times its more difficult to name the cause of those anxious
feelings lurking in the back of your mind. Let your fear rise to the surface and
give it a name.
·
Write it down. Writing down your fear is a way to officially
admit that you have a problem you want to overcome. Keeping a journal is a
good way to track your progress as you work toward conquering your fear. It can
serve as a guide for the next time you've got a problem that needs to be
solved. You can overcome fear by facing it every time it comes your way, and,
once you decide to make up your mind, your fears will dissolve away.
2 Define its contours.
Approaching your fear as something with a beginning and an end can help you see
that you have the power to contain it. If you can clearly see the shape of your
fear, you'll be able to recognize when its affecting you and handle it more
effectively. Answer the following questions to better understand your fear.
·
What is the history of your fear? Did it begin with a negative
experience? Is it related to factors that affected your childhood environment?
For how long have you been affected by this fear?
·
What triggers your fear? Is it something obvious, like the sight
of a snake on a trail? Maybe passing your career counselor's office door sends
your mind into a downward spiral when you walk down the corridor in your high school.
Figure out everything that triggers your fear so you can determine how far it
stretches.
·
How does your fear affect you? Does it cause you to stay in bed
instead of getting up and going to a class you're afraid of failing? Do you
avoid visiting your family in another state because you don't want to get on a
plane? Figure out exactly what power your fear has over your mind and behavior.
·
Is the source of your fear actually dangerous? Fear can be a
healthy emotion that protects us from harm by causing us to avoid things that
are dangerous. Determine whether you have a good reason to be afraid or if your
fear is misplaced and inhibiting. For example, when you are afraid to ride that
totally extreme roller coaster in the theme park even though all your friends
are doing it, your fear may be inhibiting you. If you are healthy and in the
correct age range, you can freely ride a coaster without worrying about getting
hurt.
3 Imagine the outcome you desire. Now
that you completely understand your fear, think about what exactly you want to
change. You already have your big goal set - you want to overcome your fear -
but it's important to set smaller concrete goals to help you get there. For
example:
·
If your fear is commitment, your first concrete goal may be to date
someone for longer than a month.
·
If your fear is heights, you may want to be able to go on a
hiking trip with the outdoor club at your school.
·
If your fear is going away to college, you could start by
setting a goal to apply to three schools.
·
If your fear is spiders, you might want to be able to handle
seeing a spider in your bathroom next time that situation arises.
1 Let yourself be afraid sometimes.
There's no way to completely eliminate fear from your life. It's as valid an
emotion as joy or sadness. Fear builds character and teaches us how to act with
courage.
·
Don't be hard on yourself if you have a lot of fears. Fear is a
natural response to situations that are out of our control, and feeling it just
means you're human.
·
Don't push yourself too far. If you are extremely afraid of
something that you can avoid frequently encountering, like tarantulas, you may
not need to force yourself to overcome that fear. It's important to work on
overcome fears that limit your life, but don't stress yourself out about those
that have no real effect on you.
2 Celebrate your victories. Don't
wait until your fear has been completely overcome to give yourself a pat on the
back for your effort. Celebrate each milestone, whether you told a story to a
group of people at a party, saw a spider and realized you didn't want to run
away, or took a trip to a different city by yourself for the first time. When
you see how good it feels to gain an edge on your fear, you'll be ready to face
the next one head-on.
·
Consider seeing a counselor if your fears seem to be taking
over. A trained specialist can help you figure out the source of your fears and
create new ways of coping.
Warnings
·
Never do anything too dangerous, like touching a venomous
rattlesnake without proper training. Be sure to exercise safety as you confront
your fears.
- 1 Learn how to enroll and engage your audience. If you haven't yet taken a professional development course on public speaking, consider finding a public speaking training course appropriate for your needs. Learning the art of public speaking can enhance your results in a boardroom, in a sales presentation, and even accelerate your climb up the corporate ladder. It is a must-skill for any executive and/or business owner.
2 Recognize that people can't see your
nervousness. When you're walking out onto the stage toward the podium, no
one knows you're nervous. Your stomach could be in knots and you feel like
you're going to be sick, but you really aren't showing nervous behavior.
Sometimes, with public speaking, you think that people may notice you're
nervous. This makes you even more nervous. There are only a few subtle cues
that show a person is nervous and they're so small, that the ordinary person
wouldn't put more than 1 second into them. Don't worry so much. People don't
see that extreme nervous beast inside you.
·
Bluff. Stand tall, with shoulders back and chest out. Smile.
Even though you don’t feel happy or confident, do it anyway. You will look
confident and your body will fool your brain into thinking it is confident.
3 Do
not overthink the audience's reactions. When you are on stage or speaking
in public, calm your mind. Remember that even if you see people looking at you
like they think you are weird, ignore it. What they think doesn't matter. If
there really is something that you know you are doing wrong, fix it as quick as
possible.
·
Yawning, bored expressions and similar negative facial
expressions will always appear in an audience. Chances are some of those people
will be bored whatever the occasion; some of those people are difficult to
please; some of those people are tired; some of those people are distracted.
None of these reasons reflect on you.
Tips
·
Remember, you don't look as nervous as you feel.
·
If you think the people you're talking to will judge you too
much, think that they're not themselves. Think that they're your siblings or
friends. People who respect you and won't judge you if you make a mistake.
·
Remember, even the top professionals learn something new every
single time they go out!
·
Only you know what you are supposed to say or do so it's okay to
change things during the presentation. (It's okay not to be word-for-word as
your wrote it.)
·
Remember that when you are asked to speak, if you are coming
from a place of service, you can't go wrong. Remember, it's not about you. It's
about them - your audience. You are not the star, they are.
·
Tell yourself, "One is admired when looked upon by
others."
·
If you go to school, volunteer to read the text when the class
is reading textbooks.
·
Try low lighting. Prepare a PowerPoint presentation. Display it
on the projector, and turn off the lights in the room. By doing this, you will
have an enormous advantage because nobody will be looking at you and the
projector will draw all of the attention from you. This will give you a sense
of relief like you wouldn't believe, making your presentation completely stress
free. This method does not cure the fear of public speaking but it does help
you avoid the anxiety throughout the speech.
·
Smile and try to make some jokes to cover your nervousness. The
audience will laugh (but in a good way, of course!) and think that you're
really funny. Don't try to be humorous in serious situations such a funeral or
an important meeting though, or you might get into big trouble!
Warnings
·
Don't give a wrong or uninformed answer. Defer to a later time
and ask "is it okay if I get back to you on that on the break. I want to
make sure I cover the subject well, and get you the right answer".
·
If you don't know the answer to a question, ask the audience if
anyone knows the answer to the question (you don't have to admit you don't know
it...you just ask the audience).
·
Avoid death by PowerPoint; overuse of slides during a talk will
put your audience to sleep.
·
Avoid standing behind podiums, tables or any physical barrier
between you and your audience.
·
Don't take anything personally.
Some more hints
1. Take time out
2. What's the worst that can happen?
3. Expose yourself to the fear
4. Welcome the worst
5. Get real
6. Don't expect perfection
7. Visualise
8. Talk about it
9. Go back to basics
10. Reward yourself
What Do You Think?
* End the speech as
soon as possible* Avoid any pauses or interruptions during the speech
* Avoid contact with the audience
* Hide the fact that they are afraid
Don't Be the Unspeaker!
Hurrying
Ignoring the Audience
Fighting to Hide Your Fear
Fear of Public Speaking:
Fear of public
speaking is the most common of all phobias. It's a form of performance anxiety
in which a person becomes very concerned that he or she will look visibly
anxious, maybe even have a panic attack while speaking. Over time, people try to protect themselves by either avoiding public speaking or by struggling against speech anxiety.
In this way, people get Tricked into making the fear of public speaking more chronic and disruptive.
Some people do this with avoidance. They choose college coursework in such a way as to avoid public speaking, rather than taking the classes they want.
How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking
Five Parts:
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